Several times in the recent past, I have had the cosmic reminder that we are living a short life. We don't have forever to do it right, to love, to enjoy the company of those we care about. But then I went to the doctor. Now I got to thinking about things from "how to cope" side of illness. I have been caregiver for so long that I had forgotten the other side of it.
Have you seen this?: The following passage is being sent around on the social media sites.
"Hard to explain to someone who has no clue, or who doesn't believe you. It's a daily struggle being in pain or feeling sick on the inside while you look fine on the outside. When you and your doctors don't know when it will be better it is impossible to explain it. You or someone you know has an invisible illness - (Pancreatitis, Crohn's, PTSD, Anxiety, Bipolar, Depression, Diabetes, LUPUS, Fibromyalgia, MS, lyme, ME, Arthritis, Cancer, Heart Disease, Epilepsy, ADHD, Autism, M.D. Evan Syndrome etc.) Never judge what you don't understand and try to be supportive instead."
It shows that there is enough cause for people to be concerned that others don't understand what being disabled or chronically ill is about. Because of how many times this has crossed my news feed, I know that many people are on the coping side of an illness.
Misconceptions and Realities: One of the things that came to mind when I was thinking about what life means when you are battling something, is that there isn't really a break when you are sick. It doesn't make life better or easier being sick. There is no glamor in it. There is no money in it. There is no special prize for the pain, the appointments, and the unknowns.
Your day is just as long even if you can't work because you still have the day to day responsibilities. Dishes still need to be washed, appointments need to be gone to, paperwork and bills don't care if your chest hurts or that you feel like tossing the lunch you didn't even eat.
If you are a parent, you don't stop parenting because you don't feel good. If you are the parent of special needs kids, you often put everyone else first, forgetting to let yourself heal. Did you ever say "I don't have time to be sick?"
I have heard so many people say that those on social security are just after a free ride. There is nothing easy or free about it. You have to make it on less money while adding extra bills of medication, doctors, and treatments. You still have to eat, pay the light bill, and put shoes on the kid's feet.
Not every sick or disabled person gets friends who throw them a spaghetti dinner, or has a foundation racing for a cure, or even looks "sick." Some are well put together high function people on most days but on others can barely get out of bed.
My Point: I don't have a planned point that started this blog. I was just thinking about my life and what one more doctor appointment means to it. How much more an extra test strains life. And that got me thinking about other people have judged or expressed being judge.
I don't understand why so many people look at others and try to put them into some group with out understanding that life is different for everyone, that we all have our battles (both seen and unseen), and that while there are bad in every group, it doesn't make the group bad.
I wonder if you have ever been judged unfairly and what you did about it.
Be nice to each other!
Please: Help out if you can by hitting up the "tip jar" that is at the top right of the page. Thank you.