Saturday, July 9, 2011

PSA #102 Parenthood Is A Choice, Childhood Is Not

Honestly, I have no idea where this is going so the title may have little to do with the direction this may end up going. I am feeling a little blue and a bit mad so buckle up and hang on tight.....

I am a mom that tries to always put the kids first. They get new shoes and I wear sandals when the snow is three inches deep. Doesn't bother me a bit. I can be beat down, bone tired but I am a wake at the sound of that boy's cries. When the sun rises again I start all over and try my darnedest to not let them see me cry. If food is tight, they eat first. Period. So what single mom, who weighs in at 700 pounds, tries to eat enough to gain another 300 pounds?

Donna Simpson has a FOUR year old daughter who helps her shop, cook, and generally all the things we mom's should be doing for our kids. Are people outraged by this? No, she has enough "fans" to earn $100,000 a year. Her career is eating, blogging about eating, taking pictures of her fat and her eating. Really? She is hoping to find a new man that is ten years younger to help lift some of the responsibilities from the shoulders of her young daughter. Are you kidding me? Her daughter should be playing, eating health food, and learning about the food pyramid, not worrying about what her mother is having for dinner. She should be having a childhood.... and her mother should be being a parent.

Two fathers in Michigan have made their children disappear. They claim they are safe. Safe? Three boys have been missing since Thanksgiving 2010. They are not with family, friends, or their parents. No one has seen them but they are safe.  A man that was due to go fight for our country in the fall is now sitting in jail. June 29th he took his 4 1/2 month old daughter and no one has seen her since. They found her clothes somewhere along the way. He told the mother of the little girl and his three year old daughter, that the baby is safe. No one has seen her. She is not with family, friends, or her parents but she is safe. Right. And a senator never lies. These children should have been outside playing, riding bikes, learning to crawl and being children. These men should have been parents.

We all know about Caylee Anthony's childhood. It was cut short. She died and then was thrown into the woods like garbage. Her mother was tried and acquitted of most of the charges. Little Caylee was dead while her mother partied for 31 days. Her grandmother reported her missing. Her grandfather tried to find her. No one is to blame or everyone is. There was full coverage of the trial on WFTV. Judge for yourself. Casey wanted to party and be young. Caylee needed a parent so she could be a child. Some one failed to see the gift in those big brown eyes.

Here's my point.... 

Parenthood is a choice. You don't have to be a parent in today's world. You can prevent it. You don't have to become a father. You don't have to become a mother. If you mess up and a baby is created and brought into the world, you still have options. 

Stand up and see that child into adulthood. Do the best you can to make sure that baby knows right from wrong, knows how to work and how to play. Put that child first. See that hunger and pain aren't an everyday part of their world but smiles and love are. Do the right thing.


Give that baby up to someone with enough love in their hearts to do what you, for what ever reason, can't. You will be a better person for at least trying to give that baby a better life. There are no guarantees but at least you tried. And that makes you a good parent. 

Childhood is not something a child can choose. A couple of people who think they are grown enough to take responsibility for any out come of having sex get together to CHOOSE to bring that child here. That child then lives under what ever choices those adults make. Good, bad, pleasant, and painful are at the hands of the people the child counts on most.

Casey was called a good mom because her two year old daughter loved her. Um.... I would hope that a child loves their mother, it is a natural inborn thing. BUT it is much harder for a parent to love a child all the time. It isn't enough to love when the child is happy and being cute. You have to love them when they stink, are throwing up, being annoying, or when you can't find a sitter. You wanted to keep that baby so you are now a parent. The child did not have any choice.

I get tired and upset and crave just a few minutes of quiet. I get frustrated and wish I could just go out to eat and finish my food before the children start to throw french fries down the shirt of the people sitting behind us. I do not hit my children for wetting the bed. I don't get back at their dad by punishing them. I sure and heck don't ruin their lives with beatings, starvings, or other such stupid self centered crap.

Love your kids... you picked the path your life is on... you invited the kids to go with you... enjoy their company before it's too late.


  1. Very well said, and I thank you for saying it. This may be not only one of your best posts, but also one of the best post about parenting by anyone ever. I used to be a bartender in total freaking dive bars. You'd be horrified to know how many of the trampy drunken barflies in the places I worked were mothers to young children - and those bitches were there every danged night and quite often most of the DAY as well! How you can say you love your kid while sitting on some strange guy's lap and inhaling cocaine off the tank of a toilet, I'll never understand.


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