"Yes, I know what seizures are because our dog had some before she died"
O-Kay.... Maayyybbbeee I am a little sensitive about the "I know how it is because...." comments I get from folks who have no idea what it is like to wonder IF your child will overcome whatever the issue is, live his life, or be a well rounded adult. But Really? Comparing a scary, choke filled, breath pausing, long lasting seizure of my young child to that of your dog is at the very least insensitive.
And it isn't just that. You name anything and someone is sure to have a stupid comparison that has little the issue at hand. Or people often say things like "but he looks fine now" or "it could have been worse" or other minimizing pat responses.
Parents or caregivers that are mentally, physically, and emotionally invested in the patient already know what they can know about the condition and really wish they knew how to make it all better. There is no simple answer from that article your friend's sister's neighbor's sitter found online on a friend's Facebook page.
Special Manner #108: It hurts caregivers to have their worries and pain reduced by thoughtless (even if well meaning) comments and generalization.
Please remember that no illness or condition is the same and neither are the answers. Be aware of the way you show what understanding you have in a respectful way that doesn't belittle the persons, their condition, or what they and their caregivers go through.
Really, if you haven't felt that helpless feeling that a parent has when holding their child through some horror that they can't fix or ease away, you have no clue. And if you have, then you understand that your pain doesn't make someone else's any more or less painful. It is what it is for each person, personal and deep.
Balance your words on the scale of what you would want to hear or need to hear. Support and understanding is wonderful but don't try to compare or minimize. It's easy to offend someone with open wounds, so if you misstep don't take their hurt and anger as an attack but as a defense. You can make it better by listening, really listening, and then forming a response that shows you really understand their side if not their lives.
It is hard to watch someone you love hurt, struggle, and it is wonderful to see them overcome. The people doing the watching love to share the good but sometimes they need to let out the bad and need someone to hear them. It makes life better for them, it makes them stronger for their battles, and it shows them that someone cares.
