Sunday, October 23, 2011

Lazy Lazy Lazy (Special Manners 101 or A View)

Wake up at 6 am Monday through Friday to go scrapping. That is what the man does to bring in a living. He has a license unlike a lot of the scab scrappers that he must compete against. He drives through certain neighborhoods, takes any visible metals, and leaves the stuff as neat as when he came by. It drives him nuts to see the people who dig stuff out of trash bags or leave a mess or break glass all over lawns. He hates the way the scabs break into houses or steals the fencing from the roadsides. This is his job since he lost his to a medical condition he doesn't have insurance to treat.

He comes home after a couple of hours and helps with morning chores. He feeds the dogs and checks the property. He helps medicate the special needs child. He gets to work breaking down the scrap. The more you break it down into it's different metals the more you can earn. Now that winter is near there is wood to be split and a fire to tend over the course of the day.

The wife is homeschooling three kids. Two of them are special needs. She is trying to get all of the medical needs of the family met.She fills out that form, calls those people,pays that bill, puts off another and writes to these other folks. She juggles those chores with trying to earn a bit using the family computer, helping break down the scrap, and her own medical issues.

The family then loads up into the car to go to therapy 3 times a week totaling over 15 hours. Hubby has to drive because the wife has seizures. Wife handles the kid in therapy and the hubby watches over the other two kids. Then the other days of the week is the "other" appointments. There are doctors to see, tests to be run, groceries to fetch and scrap to turn in for gas and grocery money.

They get home just in time for Hubby to head out (Sunday through Thursday evenings) to do his scrap run. Wife and kids do the afternoon chores and play time. Play around their house is like therapy time. They do crafts for fine motor skills, play parachute or biking for gross motor, tell stories for social skills, and speech is practiced as often as possible. Wife makes dinner and hubby will do the dishes.

Nights are spent breaking down scrap and working in what ever way is needed. The kids are doing what ever they feel up to until story time. The chores every family has is worked into their day - showers and baths, diaper changes, and room cleaning. The same everyday stresses are there with the added stresses of medically fragile members of the family, bad moods, and bad physical days. There are money worries and days when parents don't eat so the kids can.

And it really gets rough when there is a need that needs to be met and no where to turn to get it. A breathing machine (nebulizer) breaks and the youngest can't breathe. A problem with the truck and there is no way to get money to feed the family. An extra bill or trip to the ER can turn the whole world upside down and side ways.

This is the reality being faced and balanced by many people (families) these days. Both of these parents had jobs 7 years ago. They made 75% more then they bring home now. Both are facing medical issues that aren't being addressed. Neither has a criminal record or cheat the system. The kids are relatively happy and are taken care of. This is their life.

People who say that the poor are just lazy have no idea what it's like. People who say there are plenty of jobs are clueless to the realities of today's world. People who don't understand where the "poor" (as a class) are coming from have simply never been there, done that. They must be made to see that they are not too far away from being here themselves. 

The reason the OWS/ 99% movement has caught on is because too many folks are falling without a net. They looked for work and couldn't find any. They have lost a house, a car, and all the stuff they once took for granted. No matter what political or OWS view you hold, you have to understand that things can't keep going on as they have if we are going to "recover" our nation as a nation, our world as a world.

I have not seen any answers I would call THE ONE, but I am at least seeing people trying to come up with solutions. That is progress. Instead of stamping down on the efforts of those trying to make a difference, or those folks just trying to make it through the day, why not BE the change the world needs? I am personally sick of the hate and fighting when we should all be doing what we can for each other.

The sooner we get together and work together on practical, down to Earth solutions that work for everyone, the sooner we will once again be everything we claim to be as a people. There will always be rich and poor but the poor doesn't have to be THAT poor, the poor that wipes out hope and happiness.  

BALANCE IN ALL THINGS. The family I talked about would be happy with enough. Not fancy, or even modern... just enough. Enough food, enough warmth, enough care. Why is that such a  problem for people to wrap their minds around? What is enough? Enough food is when everyone goes to be having eaten dinner every night of the month. Enough is when we don't worry about leaving our children as orphans because we can't get the treatments to cure our illness. Enough is not a 6 month wait for a 3 year old's leg braces. 

This came out as more of a rant then I intended but I guess if more of us spoke of what we know, what we see, then we wouldn't have fallen so far behind. Stand up and fight or you will fall.... and soon.

Know peace. Know love, Know how to share.

Monday, October 17, 2011

The Look Of Parenthood

Do you remember me telling you about the sounds of parenthood? It can be found Here. Some of those sounds are wonderful, some horrible, a lot can be recalled with ease in memories. There are pictures in our mind that we parents carry with us long after the drama of the moment has faded.

Before I go into that, please go to a great article about Dragon Parents Here. It talks about parenting a terminally ill child. It is a very touching, heart felt article that is well worth the read.

In that article the author says: 
"We are dragon parents: fierce and loyal and loving as hell. Our experiences have taught us how to parent for the here and now, for the sake of parenting, for the humanity implicit in the act itself, though this runs counter to traditional wisdom and advice."
This is my addition to that thought:
This applies not just to the parents of the terminally ill but also those of us parents who are aware that we have no idea how our children will grow or if they will. Rowan has no syndrome to tell us what the future holds, what questions are the right ones, and if we are doing it right. We face each day as if it is his first and his last, just in case it is. And we do that for the family, as a whole.
We take pictures with our phones, our digital cameras, and of course a bit of video. None of them have the impact of the ones we carry in our mind and some get imprinted on our souls. 
Parents hold onto the ultrasound of the little alien creature just coming into life. They take five million shots of the sleeping newborn and twice that of the first steps. There are 12 plus years of school head shots and the graduation pictures. There are Holidays and family get together pictures. 
Sometimes we take pictures to document things like a fender bender, a fallen tree and the expensive bike. We will send a photo of something we want to sell or give away.
Some pictures are harder to deal with. They are the true "Look" at ourselves, our family, our lives. We carry them with in ourselves even if there is no photo to hang on a wall.
This is a picture of my 4 year old taken yesterday. It is a shot of him 3 hours after a daytime seizure. This is a look he tried to give me in response to a  question I asked him. This is the type of picture I don't need a photo to carry with me. 
How many parents carry pictures of the bruises a bully inflicted on their child? How many have the video of their baby screaming as they get the treatments to fight the cancer that is slowly draining them of the energy to even whimper? How many have lost a child and see them in their casket?
There is somethings that we can not change or protect the children from. But if we are wise we will hold tight to those pictures of good moments, of happy times, of smiles.... no matter what tries to fade them away.
Make the memories your children carry with them the best that you can. And treasure them yourself. You would be amazed how much you will find comfort in them when there are tears falling.

The many looks of parent hood are based on the looks of our family. We carry the good, the bad, the ugly. We wear them in the lines around our mouth and at the corners of our eyes. We show them off in our attitudes toward others. 
**Know love, peace, and respect by giving it to others.**

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Occupy This

Now, I want to talk to you about life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. 

I know that there are many different things happening in the world right now. Some of you worry, some of you don't, and some of us watch, take notes, worry a bit, but choose to live life as it flows. I'm from that last group. Things for the next year or so (I think say November 2012 will be an interesting time) are going to be rocky at best. So hang on to your hat, buckle up, and know what you need to know in order to let most of it flow past you harmlessly. 

Politics are going to be dicey. 

There is going to be either a return of the current president, which will upset folks, or a new Republican in office, which will be bad to other folk's way of thinking. Because there are sooooooo many extremes in both camps it is necessary to watch for fall out.

Before the election, there is going to be the usual pony play, the normal dances, and the over done game play that is really not helping our country in the least. AND ALL sides are doing it, not just the side you don't like. You know I'm right.

The problem with the parties playing the game in the usual fashion is that we as a nation and as a world, are not in our usual comfortable place that allows us to just play along.

Economic Woes

If you follow my blog, then you know that the poor are fighting to just keep their heads above water and it's only getting worse. There has been major changes in some states, like Michigan, that are making it even harder on some folks.

The middle class has been downgraded to the upper poor and the poor are now the below poverty level, and anyone below that is the forgotten class. There are those who are comfortable with life such as it is, but many more who are looking to blame someone.

In the past it was all the politician's fault but now people are looking to spread that blame out to the banks, the businesses, the people with money. If jobs are still being lost, kids being sent to foster care because they get the lights shut off, if people have to choose food over medicine they are going to keep getting mad.

The Basic Rights of America

People have lived in America thinking that this is the land of the free, that we have the right to be who and what we are, and that we can have our voices heard and put into place.

No one should have the right to limit what I feed my kids, how I practice my religion, or how I make ends meet as long as I do all of the above with in the laws that I helped vote in and am not causing unjust harm. But the latest trend is for one set of folks to tell another set of folks how to live, what to eat, and how they should care for themselves and those around them.

With those freedoms come the right to choose, to have a job, and to let other folks live out their lives according to our laws and their faith. BUT it also means that I have the responsibility to vote, to look out for others because if we fail in part - America fails in whole, and to take care of my own house (life).

The World

The world is full of issues. They are fighting for space, faith, human rights, economic uprisings, and food. Their issues affect our issues. We need to be aware and help when we can but we need to stop butting in where we don't belong and need to take care of our own home first. 

Even as you share what you have with your neighbor, you first feed your own children.

My Point

I know there is more I could and should say but my chest hurts and since there is still no medical I think I'll rap it up and try some rest. 

We are all in this together no matter what race we are, who we love, how much money we earned last year, or who our God is or isn't. When some of us fail in reality it really does touch all of us. So if we are to get through the global and national uprising that is sure to "trickle" down to our everyday lives we need to be there for each other.

Vote, and stand up for what is right not just what is popular. Share what you can because you may need someone to share with you at some point. Be there for each other. Stock up on the important stuff be cause even mother nature is in a bitchy mood. Stop taking other people's inventory. The government needs to keep our country running and let folks run their own lives. And giving a little to those who need help is not a bad thing. 

Occupy the Earth knowing that you aren't the only one here. You can't have it all your way and neither can "they" - no one should even want it all.