Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Nothing Is Normal Here: Special Manners 101

I know you all know this but no two anythings are alike. A speck of dust in the mold can cause a change in the make up. A slight change of the winds, a bad piece of cheese, a slight bend in a strand of DNA and something is different.

"If you have met one child with Autism, then you have met one child with Autism."

You can replace the word "Autism" with any condition or situation and have the same type of meaning. No one deals with anything the same way. Nothing effects people the exact same way.

There are people who have no real understanding of how hurtful and wrong they are when they speak. They fail to listen and understand the individual before they jump in with whatever view of the situation that they have. 

Special Manner #108: Your easy may be their hard.

Here is a quick example or two: Your child may have potty trained early or on time, even with a disability but her child may not have the proper sensations or communication to potty train. Maybe you used this method or that one and it worked miracles. Maybe he had used them too but his daughter just couldn't make it work.

If we ask, then we deserve what ever answer you give us. If we don't ask, maybe we have heard it before, tried it before, or have bigger worries. If you must share your thoughts, make sure you understand that every child, person, and situation is different. Include that understanding in your views.

You may have had tubes in your ears, or maybe sat through the procedure with your child. The doctor told you how it is a easy, simple, five minute procedure. You may laugh it off because you know it is routine and a fairly easy thing to get through for most people.

Here's what you may not know or understand. Special needs parents have a few more things to think about that they shouldn't have to explain but often have to. Even routine surgeries can be life and death. Some kids don't deal with being put under well. Some kids stop breathing and need oxygen. Some kids are sensitive and rash out or suffer allergic reactions. Some kids have weak lungs, sensory issues, compromised immune systems, or other complications that makes your routine into something scary and difficult.

You never know what another person truly faces everyday, even if they share bits and pieces. Even typical, normal, everyday people react to, deal with, and suffer differently to things so why is it hard for people to understand that with special needs people?

So what do you do if you are trying to be helpful, to understand, or to be there for someone? You listen and learn about the people you are dealing with. You wait to be asked your thoughts before you give advice. You make it clear you are trying to understand the difficulties they face. You don't judge. Never judge  even behind their back - because they will and do hear and feel it. Let them know that you have faith in them and that it will all work out.

Now for a health care, quality of life, 'I would love to hear your thoughts on this' link - Go here to read about a young man who was NOT allowed on to go on the wait list for a new heart because he is autistic.

I'm pretty sure you know what I think but If you all have enough intrest in it, then I will write something up.

Be well all....

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I welcome your thoughts if they are shared with respect and that you understand that we may not agree but we can still share and exchange ideas.